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Sat 20 May 2017 · Division B
Long Eaton CC - 1st XI
Southwell 1st XI
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Long Eaton CC 1st XI v Southwell CC 1st XI
Joe Fryer21 May 2017 - 12:46
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Southwell and Long Eaton attempt to prove cricket is an all weather sport
It was with excitement as your author changed his availability for the weekend after persuasion from his wife due to having to spend 3 ½ weeks solid with him in Canada in June. The excitement dulled as he checked the weather report over the week. The excitement was extinguished when Joe texted everyone at 11am stating that the pitch was damp but playable at Long Eaton despite the forecast of solid rain between 1-7.
Still, even with the 2s having sensibly called their game off early, we made the drive to the other side of the county. Surprisingly it was not raining when we arrived though it did start about 10 minutes after arrival. Upon inspecting the B&Q tarp covering the pitch and realising it only covered 2/3 of the pitch we were not filled with much enthusiasm for the day ahead.
After watching it rain steadily for about 1 ½ hours it was decided that we would take an early tea and decide after that if conditions were playable. The covers were removed to allow the pitch to dry out. It looked and smelled rather good though the reporter decided to go on hunger strike in protest of still being sat at Long Eaton watching it rain. Don’t worry Rawcliffe, he was never in any danger. Greeny decided to rub salt into the wound by having at least 4 helpings. At this point it was noted that whilst the covers had been left off it decided to chuck it down during the entirety of tea.
After tea Joe and the Long Eaton captain and umpires somehow decided that because it wasn’t currently monsooning they could go out and toss and get play started at 2.50, play reduced to 30 overs a side. Joe “Only has 1 job to do as captain” Fryer obviously lost the toss for the third game in a row and perhaps the least surprising decision of the day was taken by Long Eaton’s captain in putting in the enthusiastic Southwell batsmen.
Joe persuaded the incredibly reluctant Burton to open the batting with Tim “eats too many helpings of tea and bats for his average” Green with a licence to score as quickly as possible in the ridiculous hope that we might get 60 overs of cricket in. Nathan “forget your average strike rate is the only important thing” Burton hit one nicely middled shot through deep mid-wicket falling just short of a 6 before getting one high on the bat and being caught at mid off for 6 (The match top scorer for the 2nd week in a row, be worried readers the apocalypse may well be upon us now!!). As he walked off he wiped away the clump of mud from his bat where the ball had hit (says it all about how wet the pitch was). Max “Can’t remember where he put his phone but can remember 1 million species of birds” Collins came in, got a couple and departed in exactly the same fashion as Burton. This brought Chris “Looks solid in defence but horrendous in his helmet” Miller to the pitch after gassing out the changing room for hours. Both batsmen blocking it out before rain hit after about 6 overs. As the game across the park literally ran off the pitch the umpires decided to “stoically” stay out in the hope that underwater cricket would soon be invented. (Don’t worry readers there are no dramatic plot twists in this story!)
At the end of 8 overs it actually reminded everyone of a scene from Noah’s Arc and the players finally were taken off. Green with 0 from 24 balls (I didn’t think that could be physically possible) and Miller 0 from 6 (Geoffrey Boycotts wet dream). However, the game was not immediately called off because you never know, “it might improve soon”. 10 minutes later, with steam coming out of his ears, Joey walked out with the umpires (who were holding umbrellas which should give a clue about suitability to play cricket) and opposition captain and eventually everybody was persuaded to see sense and call the game off.
Driving back home to drop off Max in the torrential downpour having only wasted 6 hours of my Saturday I eventually got home in time to see the second pulsating Premiership semi final and catch up on highlights from a brilliant and surprising first semi final.
On to hopefully a drier game against Kirkby Portland next week.
Still, even with the 2s having sensibly called their game off early, we made the drive to the other side of the county. Surprisingly it was not raining when we arrived though it did start about 10 minutes after arrival. Upon inspecting the B&Q tarp covering the pitch and realising it only covered 2/3 of the pitch we were not filled with much enthusiasm for the day ahead.
After watching it rain steadily for about 1 ½ hours it was decided that we would take an early tea and decide after that if conditions were playable. The covers were removed to allow the pitch to dry out. It looked and smelled rather good though the reporter decided to go on hunger strike in protest of still being sat at Long Eaton watching it rain. Don’t worry Rawcliffe, he was never in any danger. Greeny decided to rub salt into the wound by having at least 4 helpings. At this point it was noted that whilst the covers had been left off it decided to chuck it down during the entirety of tea.
After tea Joe and the Long Eaton captain and umpires somehow decided that because it wasn’t currently monsooning they could go out and toss and get play started at 2.50, play reduced to 30 overs a side. Joe “Only has 1 job to do as captain” Fryer obviously lost the toss for the third game in a row and perhaps the least surprising decision of the day was taken by Long Eaton’s captain in putting in the enthusiastic Southwell batsmen.
Joe persuaded the incredibly reluctant Burton to open the batting with Tim “eats too many helpings of tea and bats for his average” Green with a licence to score as quickly as possible in the ridiculous hope that we might get 60 overs of cricket in. Nathan “forget your average strike rate is the only important thing” Burton hit one nicely middled shot through deep mid-wicket falling just short of a 6 before getting one high on the bat and being caught at mid off for 6 (The match top scorer for the 2nd week in a row, be worried readers the apocalypse may well be upon us now!!). As he walked off he wiped away the clump of mud from his bat where the ball had hit (says it all about how wet the pitch was). Max “Can’t remember where he put his phone but can remember 1 million species of birds” Collins came in, got a couple and departed in exactly the same fashion as Burton. This brought Chris “Looks solid in defence but horrendous in his helmet” Miller to the pitch after gassing out the changing room for hours. Both batsmen blocking it out before rain hit after about 6 overs. As the game across the park literally ran off the pitch the umpires decided to “stoically” stay out in the hope that underwater cricket would soon be invented. (Don’t worry readers there are no dramatic plot twists in this story!)
At the end of 8 overs it actually reminded everyone of a scene from Noah’s Arc and the players finally were taken off. Green with 0 from 24 balls (I didn’t think that could be physically possible) and Miller 0 from 6 (Geoffrey Boycotts wet dream). However, the game was not immediately called off because you never know, “it might improve soon”. 10 minutes later, with steam coming out of his ears, Joey walked out with the umpires (who were holding umbrellas which should give a clue about suitability to play cricket) and opposition captain and eventually everybody was persuaded to see sense and call the game off.
Driving back home to drop off Max in the torrential downpour having only wasted 6 hours of my Saturday I eventually got home in time to see the second pulsating Premiership semi final and catch up on highlights from a brilliant and surprising first semi final.
On to hopefully a drier game against Kirkby Portland next week.
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