A sun-baked Top Ground was a fitting location for the keenly anticipated Oxton Road derby between the bottom two teams in the league. Division H of the South Notts Cricket League witnesses some huge matches amongst giants of the local game, but none as big as Southwell 2nd XI versus Calverton 2nd XI. Southwell had the luxury of making only two changes from their defeat at Clifton the previous week; Greg Behl making his first appearance of the season in place of Devon McCarthy and Roohan Makdhoomi replacing the paceman Rahul Rajan to strengthen the batting line-up. They faced a Calverton side skippered by local legend Graham Waghorn, the former Nottingham Panthers defenceman with over 300 first team appearances to his name. Southwell were captained once again by Stuart Grimley, a hero in his own mind, who possesses just shy of 600 recorded appearances in the Final Whistle. Grimley struck the first blow between the battle of the titans, winning the toss and electing to bat.

Jack Foster was promoted to open the batting for the first time, partnering little Adam Gell as Southwell sought to change things at the top of the order. They successfully saw off the first few overs from experienced Kiwi swing bowler Jarrod Bell and the effective Charlie Bateman, who has a career strike rate under 40, and managed to take 13 runs off the first over. Foster eventually succumbed to Bateman for five, trying to release the shackles after becoming bogged down but succeeding only in seeing his middle stump being knocked back. Gell departed in the following over after playing some fine shots through the off side, stepping across his stumps and being pinned in front by Bell for 19.

Behl was joined at the crease in trying to solidify the promising start by Charlie Ogrizovic. Ogrizovic with his face like half-sucked mango. Ogrizovic with his face like a shattered lightbulb. Ogrizovic with his face like a female Belarussian shot-putter. The pair batted sensibly, mixing caution with the odd display of power and placement, and stabilised the innings. Behl had taken the early part of the summer off due to cerebral exhaustion following his first year at university, and had only recently returned to the country after visiting the renowned rest and recuperation centres in Magaluf and Zante. The enforced absence had done wonders for his mental state but physically he was showing signs of pain. Good running kept the total ticking over but perhaps not his heart. A huge leg side hoik aimed at the bowling of Ryder Wyatt missed everything but the stumps and Behl was walking off the pitch for 20.

The pair had pushed the score up to 70-2 prior to Behl’s dismissal and he was followed back to the pavilion next over by Ogrizovic, undone by a probing delivery from Daniel Holloway to be trapped lbw for 18. Barber failed to trouble the scorers, Holloway getting one to nip away from the left-hander and uprooting his off pole. Rajan did not last long either, wrapped on the pads playing back instead of forward to young spinner Ethan Wright for a duck. 70-2 had become 80-6 and the senior pro Tom Clarke and youngster Makdhoomi had a tough task on their hands if they were to set a competitive total.

Clarke, batting in an unfamiliar position in the middle order, thrived on the responsibility and looked comfortable facing an older ball, asserting his dominance with a fine drive through backward point to get off the mark with a boundary. The middle overs might be the most boring to watch but are absolutely critical in determining whether an innings reaches a robust total. The two lads in the middle, with a combined age of 33, showed no signs of boredom and knew exactly what their role was. Between them they obtained the first batting bonus point, put on a partnership of 50 and set a strong platform from which to take advantage of in the final ten overs. With the score on 130, Clarke was finally dismissed, sending a ball straight back into the hands of Holloway, the grateful bowler, for a fine 25.

At 130-7, and with a license to play with complete freedom, Grimley was the perfect man to enter the arena. Having scored 49 batting at nine and 28 batting at eight this season, he had already hinted at his preference for the role of lower order destroyer. After this innings he had confirmed his presence among the legends of number nine batsman who have played Division H cricket. Despite being in his 55th year and carrying a troublesome neck issue, Grimley hit the ball powerfully from ball one and even unfurled a beauty of a cover drive to prove he could score on the posh side. Who says you can’t teach old dogs new tricks?! With Makdhoomi happy to take a back seat, Grimley peppered the boundary line, ending up on an unbeaten 53 at a strike rate in excess of 150. This resulted in Southwell scoring heavily off the last ten overs, realising their highest score of the season, 200-7 off their 45 overs. Fittingly, it was Makdhoomi who smacked the last ball to cow corner for a one bounce four, thus showing how much he had learned from batting with his older partner.

Tea was plentiful and excellent as always and it was Abin Matthew and Sharath Rajan who took the new ball as Calverton looked to chase down Southwell’s total on a pitch offering assistance to both batsmen and bowlers. Matthew, the unluckiest bowler in the whole of the South Notts Cricket League, bowled well without reward. The closest he came was a speculative lbw shout, although he wasn’t helped in his pursuit of wickets by sweating out large quantities of the gin he had consumed the previous night. It smelt like Hendricks. Somebody pass the cucumber! Rajan forced the opening batsmen, Waghorn and Andy Hubbard, into a couple of false strokes but a breakthrough was not forthcoming. By the 13th over, Calverton were 53 without loss and Southwell needed a miracle to prevent a ninth defeat of the season.

In times of need, the Ancient Greeks turned to Zeus, the Egyptians prayed to the sun god Ra and the Aztecs sacrificed thousands of young children to gain favour with Tlaloc. Southwell were in trouble and sought their very own ancient legend: the bowling of Stuart Grimley. Separated from Clive Woodward at birth, Grimley may not possess the physique of an intimidating bowler but does provide the mental fortitude, knowledge of the game and will to win that is rarely seen at this level. He knew that pace off the ball was key and nobody else could bowl slower deliveries than himself. He struck almost instantly, Hubbard initially deceived by the 30mph delivery that was sent down and then further deceived by the three revolutions per minute of turn imparted on the ball. The ball was spooned up to Jack Foster at short cover who gobbled up the opportunity gratefully and completed the fall of the first wicket.

Ethan Wright walked out to the wicket. And returned to the changing room one ball later. Hit on the front pad and dismissed lbw. Two in two balls. Grimley on fire. His teammates ecstatic. His fan club slightly less quiet that normal. Hat trick ball. Youngster Will Green the next man in. Only his third adult game and yet to score a run. The stage was set. Could Grimley get three in a row? Wide ball, called Umpire Greenfield. The dream had died. Grimley was again a mere mortal like the rest of us. However, few could have predicted what was to unfold in the coming hour.

In his next over, Grimley dismissed Green for a duck and followed it up shortly after by bowling Darren Holloway for 2. He had taken 4/20 in the previous season but he was aiming to go one bigger this time and attain his maiden five wicket haul. He looked dangerous. Every ball a wicket-taking one. There was genuine excitement at Top Ground and whispers he could take all ten Calverton wickets. Odds were being offered. Bets placed. Who would wager against this giant of the local game? Half Mike Brearley, half Michael Holding. Grimley had the lot. It was the sort of day you don’t forget.

Sadly, there is always one boring person at every event who thinks only of themselves. Although there is no scientific evidence to prove it, in cricket this person is always from Yorkshire. Enter the Rotherham Rocket. Richard Maloney, who had been bowling at the Brackenhurst End, keeping it tight and putting pressure on the batsman, finally got in on the act. Jarrod Bell had come in at number six and looked like a man who could cause problems, one fine boundary on the off side an indication that if he and Waghorn stayed together at the crease then the game was not yet dead.

Bell was able to swing the ball a long way during his bowling spell, but he met his match in Maloney. A couple of plays and misses were followed up by one that nipped between bat and pad and clattered into the middle stump. A key wicket in the context of the game. He followed this up next ball, Jake Surgey blasting one back at him which resulted in Maloney palming the ball up and then watching it fall neatly back into his hands. A second of astonished silence ensued before the screams of amazement and jubilation could be heard. His hat trick ball was better than Grimley’s, inducing an edge from Stan Tatham which looped just wide of Tom Clarke at gully. But this was not Richard Maloney’s game. This was Stuart Grimley’s game.

Grimley struck again. Tatham missing a straight one and Grimley had his first Michelle (Pfeiffer in case you were wondering. For the younger readers that sounds like a five for. For the less intelligent readers this means Grimley had taken wickets). Watching all this from the non-striker’s end was Waghorn. Frustration and disappointment would have been two of the emotions he was feeling. Determination was another. A true sportsman. The game might have been all but over but he wanted to bat for as long as possible and delay the outcome of the result. Something for the Calverton youngsters to look up to. It would take something special to remove him.

If you look the word ‘special’ up in any dictionary published since Saturday 8th July 2017, it is accompanied by a picture of Tom Clarke diving at full stretch with ball nestling in outstretched hand. Waghorn had reached 46 and was one lusty blow away from achieving a richly deserved half century. Grimley had pitched one halfway down the track which sat up nicely for the Calverton skipper. A ferocious sounding slap of bat on ball led to many starting to applaud Waghorn’s 50. They had not reckoned on the superhuman ability of Clarke stationed at mid-on. Diving low to his right, he left the crowd stunned as he plucked the ball out of the air with one hand when it was just six inches off the ground. Waghorn was stunned, not wanting to leave the crease but appreciative of the fantastic bit of fielding he had just witnessed.

Amidst all the commotion there was the realisation that Grimley now had six wickets. Five wickets and you buy a jug. Six wickets and you party all night. Seven wickets and you get on the Southwell Cricket Club honours board. Eight wickets and you invite everyone round to your house for a meal. Nine wickets and you are in the local paper. Ten wickets and you retire.

Ryder Wyatt had helped to stem the fall of wickets and helped put on another 20 runs with Waghorn, suggesting he should have been batting higher than nine. He had a strong defence which had allowed Waghorn to express himself, although this probably led to his downfall. Two overs later and Grimley had his seventh wicket. He pushed a quicker ball through, which took a faint edge off Wyatt’s bat and rested safely in the hands of Gell, who thus took his 12th wicket-keeping dismissal of the season for the 2nd XI. Maloney was then rested after bowling nine consecutive overs from the Brackenhurst End for just 31 runs and Ogrizovic was brought on to deliver an over of spin. However, the next wicket fell at the Minster End. Grimley had his eighth wicket, clean bowling the veteran Mark Bailey and Calverton were all out for 112, one short of the first batting point.

Southwell had tasted victory for the first time in 2017 and fully deserved their 88 run victory. Calverton had played their part but this was a day for Grimley. An unbeaten fifty and the staggering bowling figures of 10.1-2-16-8 meant there was no other contender for man of the match. He led from the front and youngster Phil Clarke looked on in amazement. His record of 7-34 had been eclipsed and this inspired him. It’s what cricket is all about. The 20 points Southwell gained for their win meant they leapfrogged Calverton and no longer sit at the foot at the table. The first win was a long time coming but they must look to make it two wins out of two against table-toppers Gedling & Sherwood next week.